Welcome to the New Age
by BrittWitt16
Summary: I was about one year old when I met Octavia Blake. I was seventeen when I was arrested. I'm turning eighteen on Earth, somewhere between being shot at by Grounders and taking care of a hundred kids from space. Happy Birthday, Nylah Parker.
1. Prologue I

I have been friends with Octavia Blake since the minute she was born. Obviously I don't really remember it. But it's one of my dad's favorite stories to tell, and I've heard it way more times than I can count.

We were there the day she was born. My father had known Aurora for his whole life, and when she found out she was pregnant again, he was the only one she'd trusted with her secret. It was only a couple of months after I was born, only a couple of months after my mom died having me. I guess it was part of the reason he agreed to help her. Losing Mom made him righteous and reckless. He was willing to do just about anything to stop anyone else having to go through that pain. Even if it meant risking me losing him.

Dad helped build a compartment in the floor to keep the baby hidden, smuggled in rations and medicine while Aurora was pregnant. He had easy access as one of the inventory men, running numbers on supplies of Factory Station. That's where he was supposed to be when Octavia was born, but he left the moment Aurora called to tell him she was going into labor. A family emergency, he'd told his boss, and they let him walk right out. I guess they just assumed that I was sick, little premature infant I was. No one guessed he was going to play doctor to deliver an illegal child.

He'd grabbed both me and my bag—which, for the moment, was filled with towels and basic medical supplies rather than toys and diapers—and rushed us to meet Aurora. The door was slammed shut and he immediately got to work on the pregnant woman. He'd been subtly reading up on the subject for months now, how he could make the delivery easy, secret and safe. And while he tried to help Aurora quietly through the pain, I was left in the care of a very young Bellamy Blake.

It wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence. I was constantly being left with Bellamy as an attendant, whenever my dad had to go to work. In reality, he'd been looking after me since before I was born, back when he used to push food against my mom's stomach because he thought that's how babies ate. That was another one of my dad's favorite stories.

Aurora's whimpers filled the room as she bit down on the rag my father had given her. He tried to coach her through, holding her hand and reminding her to breathe and push, breathe and push. Bellamy did his best to distract me by pulling weird faces or blowing raspberries against my hands, but it wasn't working very well. Either because I could hear his mother in pain or because I could feel the thick tension in the air, I was inconsolable.

"Shh! Nylah, you have to be quiet!" Bellamy pleaded over my cries. "Please, please, please be quiet! L-Look!"

He puckered his lips and crossed his eyes, making a weird squeaky sound that managed to silence me for a few seconds. But then Aurora gave a particularly hard push and cried out in pain, and I immediately started crying again.

Bellamy grimaced, holding me tight but casting a terrified look across the room. "Mom?!"

"She's fine, Bellamy," my father assured him as he wiped his mother's brow. "You hear that, Rora? You're fine. You're doing good. Just a few more pushes. You can do it."

She groaned again in response, but with a determined spark in her eyes that made Dad smile. It flickered as she pushed again, grunting against the rag, but never faded entirely.

Bellamy hesitated for a moment before scrambling to his feet. He picked me up in his arms and hurried closer to his mother, panic etched into every inch of his face. "Is she still okay?"

He didn't get an answer. Instead, my father started counting, grabbing one of the towels and keeping a hand on Aurora's knee as her breathing picked up. She sobbed against the rag, her face shining with sweat, and then it was over.

She collapsed back as Dad grabbed the baby and without a pause went to work cleaning her. The tension never faded from the room, even as the sounds of Aurora's and my crying subsided. We spent what seemed to be an eternity paralyzed, watching in fascination and fear as my dad finished the job. Clean the baby, deliver the placenta, cut the cord, ease the pain. He muttered it to himself as he moved, a mantra to keep himself calm and collected under the scrutiny of two children. He would stay calm to keep the Blakes calm, and that in turn would keep me calm. The hard part was over. Now we just had to survive.

"Bellamy…" Aurora's voice was weak, but she managed to smile our way as she looked up from the baby in her arms. "Come here, Bell." He walked us forward slowly, like he couldn't let himself believe everything was really over. But his mother smiled at him, and ran her fingers through his hair. "My brave boy…you have a sister."

Some of the fear disappeared from Bellamy's face, and my dad carefully lifted the bundle out of Aurora's arms. He knelt down to our level and grinned. "I'll trade ya."

Bell put me down without taking his eyes off his sister, and almost reverently accepted the baby into his arms. My father scooped me up, resting me on his hip and kissing my cheek as Bellamy stared down in awe at the new addition to their family.

"You should name her," Aurora panted, letting her head loll onto one shoulder.

He was quiet for a few seconds, until his eyes brightened with an idea. "What about like that story we were reading the other day? About Emperor Augustus. He had a sister—Octavia."

I chose that moment to make a delighted squealing noise, my tiny fingers grappling with my dad's shirt as he hoisted me a little higher on his hip. Even though I probably didn't know what was going on, the sound made everyone smile. Even Octavia seemed to grin for a moment, her mouth stretching wide as she discovered her own vocal chords. She cooed for a moment, and then let out her first cries.

"No, y-you can't let her cry," Aurora said quickly. "Here, give her to me."

Bellamy stepped forward to return his sister, but his mother suddenly hissed in pain and grabbed her stomach. The momentary calm disappeared in an instant, and his eyes widened in worry. "No. No, Mom, you can't fall asleep!"

"I'm so tired…"

"Damnit," my father hissed, quickly putting me back down on the ground. He rushed forward, grabbing another towel and moving back to his original position. "Bellamy, take the girls into the next room. I've got to stop the bleeding."

"B-Bleeding?" he asked quickly. "Why—Why is she bleeding? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Bellamy. It's very normal. But I have to try and stop it or she'll need medical attention. Take Nylah and your sister next door. I'll come get you if I need you."

Bell hesitated for a moment, before reluctantly agreeing. He struggled to carry Octavia and guide me at the same time, but he didn't make it two steps before his mother reached out and grabbed his arm. She composed her face through the pain, taking a deep breath and giving him a solemn look. "Your sister, your responsibility," she whispered, and then her eyes fluttered shut.

"Come on, Aurora, stay with me," Dad ordered. "Bellamy, go."

It took a few minutes for him to move us, but Bellamy eventually ushered the three of us a good distance away. He sat down with his back against the wall, cradling his sister against his chest as she continued to cry. "Shh! Please, please. Shh, shh, shh."

I carefully plopped down next to him, peering at the tiny person in his arms with the upmost interest. Octavia's presence had helped to stop my crying, almost as if I felt that two of us shouldn't be crying at once.

Bellamy rested a finger against her lips, and Octavia instinctively pulled it into her mouth. Her cries ebbed away to silence until she was finally content. Wide eyes swiveled around the room, taking in her surroundings for the very first time, and her brother let out a sigh of relief.

"See? I told you, it's okay. I won't ever let anything bad happen to you, Octavia. I promise."

"Yes."

Bellamy quickly looked over at me, his eyebrows shooting up under his hair as he watched me. "Nylah?"

"Yes."

I'm not quite sure what I thought I was agreeing to. All I know is what happened in the story. And that's that I reached out and ran my fingers over Octavia's face, which made her giggle around Bellamy's finger. Then I slid myself around and stuck my hand in the blanket, pulling out one of her arms. I tried to press my hand against hers for a few minutes, but Octavia was too restless to stay still. Somehow, I ended up holding her hand, with Bellamy grinning down from above me.

"See, Nylah? This is my sister, Octavia."

"Ahh—Oc!"

The attempt at his sister's name made Bellamy laugh, and I let out a pleased giggle.

"That's right, Ny. This is Octavia. And I'm gonna protect you both."

That's pretty much how my dad found us when he came in to check on us later. Octavia had fallen asleep in Bellamy's arms, one hand holding his finger in her mouth and the other wrapped around my own. I had my head on Bellamy's knee, and was swimming in and out of consciousness while I sucked on my thumb. It took Dad a couple minutes to ease me away from the newborn baby. Even asleep, I didn't want to leave Octavia's side. It was a habit I never really grew out of.

That was the day that I met my best friend. And that was the day that doomed us all.

* * *

**A/N: Hi everyone! So I'm starting yet another story, because I have zero self-control and I'm very emotional about Bellamy's face. I just marathoned the show last week, so this might be slow going, but I wanted to get some feelers out. There will be a few shorter chapters about life on the Ark, and then I'll launch into the story that starts with the show.**

**Disclaimer, I do not own nor am I affiliated with The 100 or the CW. I simply own Nylah Parker.**

**Thanks for reading, guys, and let me know what you think!**

**-Brittney**


	2. Prologue II

"Actaeon was one of the best hunters in all the land. One day, when he was out hunting with his hounds, he stumbled upon a stream and stopped for a drink. Travelling along the water, he spotted a beautiful woman through the trees who was bathing in the river. Actaeon hid behind a tree to watch her, but was discovered in a matter of seconds. The woman was Artemis, the goddess of the hunt, and she was outraged when she found she was being spied on. She immediately cursed him, stealing his voice and transforming him into a stag. Actaeon fled, saving himself from the goddess's wrath, but crossing paths with his hounds. Not recognizing their master, the dogs attacked, ripping Actaeon to shreds and sealing the goddess's punishment."

Bellamy growled fiercely, tackling his sister in her chair and tickling her until she shrieked. I clapped my hands and egged him on, a smile threatening to split my face in half. "Eat her! Eat her! Eat her! Eat her!"

"No! Bellamy, no! You're my brother! You can't eat me!"

"Eh, I wouldn't eat you anyway," he sighed, collapsing into the chair next to her. "You're way too small. Not much of a meal."

"Hey, I'm just as big as Nylah is!"

"Exactly," Bellamy snorted, and stuck his tongue out at me.

I scrunched up my nose, but didn't bother fighting back. I was small for my age and I knew it. There wasn't much of a point in fighting it.

"Tell it again, Bellamy," I said, propping my chin in my hands and swinging my legs beneath me. "Please?"

"Really, Lala? That was already like the third time this week."

"It's my favorite!"

Bellamy sighed, but he was smiling at the same time. I knew it was one of his favorites too, and that's the only reason I convinced him to tell it so often. His face was already softening, and he cleared his throat to start again.

"Bell, no!" Octavia whined. "You've already told that one like a gagillion times! Tell the one about Athena and Pallas again!"

"Nooo!"

"Alright, alright," he conceded, reaching across the table to ruffle my hair in consolation. "Actaeon next time. But if I'm doing Athena and Pallas, I'm gonna need some help. Who wants to be Athena?"

"Me!" Octavia and I screamed at the same time, which threw us into another argument.

"You got be Athena last time!"

"That's cause you're always Athena!"

"That's cause I'm better at it!"

"No you're not! Bell, tell her she's not!"

"Guys, you have to be quiet or…"

"Fine. I like being Pallas better anyway. Playing dead is fun."

"Yay!" Octavia cheered in victory, and banged her hands against the table. "My turn! My turn!"

"After lunch," my dad announced, ducking quickly into the room and closing the door behind him. "Who are we today?"

"Octavia is playing Athena, and I'm her best friend Pallas," I said proudly.

Dad grinned, holding out the rations he had in his hands and bowing deeply. "Well then, an offering to the most beautiful goddesses on the Ark."

Octavia and I shared a look, and she sat up as straight as she could so she could look at him down her nose. "We accept, good sir."

"Why thank you, your grace." He placed the food down on the table and kissed my cheek. "Just remember to let Bellamy have some fun too, okay?"

"I like being the narrator," he said with a shrug, pulling one of the prepared packages toward him. "Cause I know more than they do."

"That's not true!" Octavia argued, as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Know-it-all."

"Okay, that's enough," Dad interrupted, leaning over the table so he could give us all stern looks. "We'll continue the discussion after your lunch."

In almost perfect unison, Octavia and I pouted and slouched back in our chairs, arms crossed over our chests. Bellamy just snorted, ripping open the packaging on his food with an air of smug victory.

Aurora walked into the room behind him, her thin smile waning the moment her eyes reached the table. "What's this?"

"Lunch," Octavia said, her voice strained as she pulled at the paper on the other package. Bellamy had to pry it from her hands to open it for her, slightly amused. His mother, however, was not.

"_This_ is lunch?"

"Rora," Dad sighed from behind my chair.

"No, Benedict! You don't get to 'Rora' me. Maybe you haven't noticed, but there's three children."

"Aurora, this is all I could get. Given the circumstances, it's the best I could do."

"Well the best you can do isn't good enough!"

He quickly looked down at Octavia, Bellamy and me, watching the altercation with varying amounts of confusion and fear. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes for a moment, taking Aurora's arm and leading her a little further away from the table. "You know I'm under review. Ever since the incident with Nylah's medical supplies…"

"I know," she said softly, wiping a hand down her face. "I know, I just… They're kids, Ben. They need to eat."

"It's okay, Mom," Bellamy offered, bravely interrupting their conversation. "I'll split lunch with O."

"Bellamy and I had to share last time," she whined. "I wanna have what Nylah's having."

"No, Octavia," her mother said firmly.

"But Mom!"

"Your mother's right, Octavia," Dad said, stepping toward us again. "You and Nylah both need…"

"It's fine, Daddy. I'm not that hungry." I pulled the package from Bellamy's hands, avoiding the adults gaze as I went about splitting the portions.

I knew why Aurora was upset, but I didn't like it when she fought with my dad. He had to be careful when taking rations, especially when he was being watched. Last month had been difficult because I'd gotten sick again, which meant less food for this month. I honestly didn't mind splitting my lunch with Octavia, but her mom was right. It wasn't a lot of food.

"We need to talk," she urged, and before my father could protest, she was pulling him into the next room. They did their best to keep their voices down, but sometimes when people are upset, even their best isn't enough to achieve their goals. Bellamy, Octavia and I just pretended we couldn't hear it, and the day went on as normal.

Bellamy ripped half of his sandwich apart, sliding a corner onto Octavia's plate when she wasn't looking. He handed me the other, smiling softly and holding a finger up to his lips. I wanted to refuse it, but Bellamy was a few years older than us. When our parents weren't home, that meant he was in charge, and that meant no arguing.

I reluctantly took the piece of sandwich and added to my plate, making Bellamy smile.

"Good. Now, the story of the goddess Athena and her best friend Pallas…"

* * *

**A/N: What did I tell you? Zero-self control. So here's the second short prologue. And let me tell you, I am so stoked to hear that people are excited, especially since I didn't post this all that long ago. You guys are angels, really and truly. Thank you for favoriting, thank you for following, and thank you to ChasingWolves, LovelyFandomLover, KeBi, Richelle Manuel, Valkyrie101, shirosagi, and hella-sirius for reviewing.**

**I'll see what I can whip up for the next chapter, but thank you so much for reading!**

**-Brittney**


	3. Prologue III

III

_My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;_  
_Coral is far more red than her lips' red;_  
_If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;_  
_If hair be wires, black wires grow on her head;_  
_I have seen roses damasked, red and white,_  
_But no such roses see I in her cheeks;_  
_And in some perfumes is there more delight_  
_Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks._  
_I love to hear her speak, yet well I know_  
_That music hath a far more pleasing sound;_  
_I grant I never saw a goddess go;_  
_My mistress when she walks treads on the ground._  
_And yet by heaven I think my love as rare_  
_As any she belied with false compare._

"Why are you even reading this?" Octavia asked, rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling in despair. "This is like a thousand years old. What's the point?"

"The point is that it's good," I said with a shrug. I propped myself up on my elbows and crossed my ankles in the air, letting my eyes flit over the page as they dissected the poem.

Octavia snorted. "Please. You just like it cause it sounds like you."

"I do not!"

"Oh, come on. All that stuff about your skin being done and your hair being black?"

"It's 'dun,' O. It means…gray-brown. At least that's what this says."

"Bingo."

I rolled my eyes and rolled onto my back next to her. I dragged the book with me, holding it up in front of my face and blocking out the ceiling lights. "It's not because it's me. I mean, listen to this. 'I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound.' I mean, who talks like that anymore? It's beautiful."

"It's gross," she said with a pointed look. "I want a boy who'd throw away all the music in the world for me. Not someone who thinks it's better."

"But that's the point, O. He's saying that he'd throw away the music even though he knows it's better. He knows she's not perfect, but he'd rather have her anyway. Isn't that perfect?"

"You're such a nerd," she giggled, and shifted her shoulder on the ground to knock into mine. "Thanks for letting me read your homework though. At least I can be thankful I'm not doing _that_ in school."

"Not everyone is," I reminded her, laying the book across my chest. "I told you, Mr. Corchill gave this to me cause I'm special. He thought I'd like it."

"Are you trying to prove you're not a nerd? Cause it's not working."

Octavia and I both looked up as Bellamy walked into the room. He grinned down at us from behind our heads, running a hand through his hair as he peered down at the book. Even upside down, I could see his amusement, and immediately glared at him.

"What's so bad about liking Shakespeare?"

"It's not really important anymore. O's right. He's been dead for hundreds of years."

"And most of Greek mythology isn't real, and if it is, that was hundreds of hundreds of years."

Bellamy opened his mouth to reply, but couldn't think of anything to say. His lips sealed moodily, and he glared down at me for a second before rolling his eyes. "Whatever, Lala."

"Do you have to call me that?" I groaned, pushing myself up so I was sitting as he walked away.

Octavia followed suit, putting our argument aside to come to my defense. "Yeah, Bell. Why do you call her Lala?"

"Well, her name's Nylah, and when she was a kid she couldn't get it. So she said Lala. Kinda just stuck."

"She was a _baby_, Bellamy. Maybe you're the one who should grow up."

He laughed a bit in disbelief, and made to walk away again. But before he could, I called him back. "Hey, Amy!"

Bellamy froze, turning around to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

I faked as much confidence as I could manage as Octavia snickered beside me. "Well, if you're just gonna use the second half of my name, I'm gonna use the second part of yours. Amy."

He held my gaze for a few seconds, before shaking his head. "Whatever, Lala. You should probably head home. O's gotta head to bed."

"Can Nylah stay over, Bell?" she pleaded, throwing her arms around me and pouting at her brother. "Please?"

"Octavia, you know Mom doesn't want you guys doing this anymore."

"Pleeeease?" we chorused, hugging each other tightly and turning on almost identical sets of pleading eyes.

Bellamy sighed and turned his back on us. "Whatever. She's probably not coming home tonight anyway."

Oblivious to his sour tone, Octavia and I cheered and bounced to our feet. She helped me pack up my school things, and then we took turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed. We were already trying to push the table out of the middle of the room when Bellamy made his way back. I heard his sigh, but knew well enough at this point that it was because he thought we were funny more than anything else. In an instant he was standing between us, sliding the table out of the way and clearing the middle of the floor.

The sight of floor almost instantly made Octavia close up. The smile left her face, and her eyes got a little bigger as she stared at the loosened tiles. I looked over at her, dropping her hand for a moment as Bellamy lifted up a section of the floor to reveal the dark hole underneath.

"You good, O?" he asked.

Octavia couldn't answer. She stared down at the floor in blank fear, only blinking when I pushed her favorite stuffed animal into her hands. She forced her lips into a smile, and nodded her head. "Yeah. I'm good."

"You sure?"

"I got her, Amy," I said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and jabbing at him to make her laugh.

Bellamy narrowed his eyes at me, but grinned. "Age before beauty, Lala. Get down there." I glared, but let the comment slide as Octavia laughed again. Bell held out a hand, and helped me down into the hole before assisting his sister. "You know, you guys are getting big. I don't know how much longer you'll both fit down there."

"That's the point, dummy!" Octavia argued.

She smiled up at him, but I could feel her hand closing around mine in fear. She didn't like the box, and I couldn't blame her. Neither could I. But without her mother home to warn her of the surprise inspections, Octavia had spend her time below the floor. The best I could do to help was to make it a little more bearable.

"Yeah, Bell," I agreed, wrapping my arm around her. "Gotta make the most of it while we can."

I watched his grin falter for a moment, staring down at the girl we'd both watched being brought into the world, now almost too big for the room that was meant to contain her. Or maybe he could just see the fear in her eyes before he locked us up. Either way, he was quick to hide it behind a quiet laugh.

"Okay, nerds. Below the floor. Knock if you need anything."

Octavia and I sat down, stretching out under the floor and holding our breath as Bellamy shut the tiles over us. We listened to him drag the table over us, the faint sound of him saying goodnight, and then he walked away. We stayed silent for a few minutes, letting our eyes adjust to the darkness as we held hands for all we were worth. It wasn't unusual for me to wake up from sleepovers with bruises, but they didn't really bother me. If Octavia had to squeeze my skin until she left a mark to reassure herself that she wasn't alone, I would have let her bruise every inch of my skin.

"You okay?" I asked quietly when I could finally make out the shape of her head.

"Yeah." The answer came too quickly, and I could hear the tremble in her voice. But Octavia heard it too, and she cleared her throat and took a deep breath to check herself. "I am. I'm okay. I am not afraid."

"You are not afraid," I echoed, and gave her hand a supportive squeeze.

It took a couple minutes for Octavia's nerves to fade away. She rolled onto her side, keeping her grip on my hand but facing me in the dark. "Hey, Ny? Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you marry Bellamy?"

The question got a very strange response from me. On the one hand, my heart seemed to stop for a moment, and I felt my cheeks burning with a blush I was very glad Octavia couldn't see. But at the same time, my stomach tied itself into a knot, and I had to suppress a gag.

"Ew! Why?" I asked, rolling on my side so I could look at her.

"Because we'd be sisters!"

"Octavia, you're my best friend. And Daddy always says that your family isn't just your blood or what's written on paper. So you're already kind of my sister."

"I'm _kind of_ your sister," she repeated. "I wanna be your actual sister. You and Bellamy are the best people I know. We should be a family."

I resisted the urge to remind her that Bellamy and I were the only people she knew. The fact tugged at the back of my throat, but I did my best to swallow it. I tried to sigh it out of my mouth, and squeezed my eyes shut in the dark. "Octavia, I told you. We're already a family. You, your mom, my dad, me. And Bellamy."

"But you and Bellamy are both so good," she insisted. "You guys take care of me, and you're a good team."

"Tavia, you only think we're a good team because you've never seen us with anyone else," I said quickly, shaking my head. "Can we go back to arguing about Shakespeare? I should probably be studying."

I hurried to change the subject, praying that the dig at Octavia's condition wouldn't hurt her as much as I knew it would. I braced myself for the tears, maybe a couple more bruises if I wasn't careful. But Octavia didn't cry. She just remained silent, and there was a tingling on my skin that made me think she was watching me very, very closely.

"Why do you want to change the subject so bad?"

"Cause I don't want to marry Bellamy, Octavia."

"Or maybe it's cause you do."

I rolled my eyes, but it wasn't something that she could see in the dark. Without that, she was left to guess that my only answer had been silence. As far as she was concerned, that was a victory.

"Oh my God! Nylah, do you like my brother?!"

"Octavia, no. No, I do not like…"

"I knew it! See? We can be sisters!"

"I said that I don't like him! Octavia!"

"Amy and Lala sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"There aren't even any trees in the Ark," I grumbled, dropping her hand to wrap my arms around my torso.

"You know what I mean!" Octavia had the decency to try and smother her giggles with her hand. The last thing I needed was Bellamy getting up in the middle of the night and hearing his little sister plan our wedding. "It's okay, Nylah. Your secrets are safe with me. What's said beneath the floor stays beneath the floor."

"There isn't a secret, O. I don't like Bellamy. He's mean and he's bossy and he's gross."

"And he's protective and he's funny and sometimes he's even nice," Octavia countered, the smile clear in her voice even if I couldn't see it in the dark.

I pouted again, rolling over to my other side so I didn't have to look at her silhouette anymore. "You marry him then."

Octavia giggled behind my back, and then scooted up behind me. I felt her wrap an arm around my waist, pressing her forehead to my shoulder and grabbing one of my hands. "Okay, I'm sorry. But will you please at least think about marrying Bellamy? I think you'd be really cute."

I glared at the wall of the compartment, trying to decide if Bellamy would ask too many questions if I knocked for him to let me out. But I couldn't leave Octavia down here alone, even if she was being annoying times infinity. That didn't leave me with much of a choice but to put up with her, and stop the conversation by going to sleep.

"Whatever, Octavia. Just go to sleep."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes. Just close your eyes and try to breathe."

"Okay. I love you, Nylah."

"Love you too, Tavia."

"…Not as much as you love Bellamy…"

"Octavia…"

"Goodnight!"

* * *

**A/N: I need to be stopped. I have been so unproductive on anything but this story this week, haha. But I hope you're all getting at least some enjoyment out of it. Thank you for reading and following, and thank you to MsKnives19, LovelyFandomLover, The-Originals-Rock, Baby Blake, and c-bellz for reviewing the last chapter. I hope you guys like this just as much! :)**

**-Brittney**


	4. Prologue IV

I was so mad at Octavia Blake. So mad. It didn't stop me from talking to her, but still. I was mad.

Ever since our last sleepover, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about stupid, stupid Bellamy Blake. What if I did like him? Did I? No. No, I did not like Bellamy. I was only considering that I might like Bellamy because Octavia was making me think that I liked Bellamy because she wanted me to like Bellamy. I just had to stop thinking about Bellamy.

But that didn't turn out to be easy. It was hard to not think about someone that you saw pretty much every day of your life. Every time I saw Bellamy, I had to fight to keep from blushing. No matter how focused I was, Octavia's words kept worming their way back into my head.

_"__Not as much as you love Bellamy."_

Of course I loved Bellamy. He was as much my brother as Octavia was my sister. My dad had helped raised him. He'd practically helped raise me. It was a necessary, loving support system that in no way meant that I liked him. Not like that anyway.

But that didn't stop what Octavia had said from being true. Not the love part, obviously. But Bellamy was protective, and funny, and sometimes nice. He also seemed to have this level of confidence that caught everyone's attention. I'd never really thought about what he did when he wasn't in the room with Octavia and I, but I'd heard girls in my classes talking about him more than once. That mysterious, cute older boy named Bellamy Blake. I'd always wondered what they'd say if I told them he was my best friend, and that I knew him better than they every would. Of course, I never did. I didn't need that kind of attention, and without bringing up Octavia I didn't have much of a case. So I just had to sit back and listen to their daydreams and encounters with him. Whatever he was doing, it sounded like he wasn't exactly shy.

"Nylah? Are you alright?"

I blinked hard, ending the staring contest I was having with the wall across from me and looking down at Aurora. She was still kneeling in front of the chair I was standing on, but had paused her sewing to look up at me in concern.

I quickly smoothed out the skirt of the dress she was fitting on me, and shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah. Why?"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say that the wall insulted you. If you keep glaring like that, you'll get wrinkles."

"Sorry," I said quietly, hanging my head and forcing myself to calm down. Stupid Bellamy again.

"Are you almost done, Mom?" Octavia asked. She was bouncing up and down in her chair at the table, watching the two of us with a sharp eye. "Nylah was gonna show me her Earth Skills homework."

Her mother sighed, passing her needle through the fabric again so she could finish the hem of the skirt. "Just a few more minutes, Octavia. Be patient. And stop bouncing."

I grinned, waiting for Octavia to come up with a snappy reply, but it was cut off by a low whistle. My cheeks seared as Bellamy walked into the room, his bag thrown over his shoulder and his eyebrows raised. "Wow, looking good, Lala. What's the occasion?"

"Unity Day," I said quickly, trying my best not to look at him.

"Are you seriously gonna be in the pageant again?" he asked with a grin. "I mean, you made a great Venezuela when you were a kid, but I didn't think they'd let you back after you forgot all your lines."

"I did not!"

"Nylah, stop moving," Aurora scolded. "And Bellamy, stop teasing her. It's for the masquerade."

"Wait, you're going to the masquerade?" The humor had dropped completely from his voice, leaving blank surprise in its wake. "Aren't you a little young for that?"

"Shut up, Bellamy."

"She's not too young for anything!" Octavia defended, crossing her arms over her chest. "And neither am I."

"Octavia, you're not going," her mother said. She tried to keep her voice neutral, but every time her daughter asked, her voice got a little louder. It'd only take a few more jabs until she was screaming.

"Why not?! No one will see me!"

"A mask isn't enough to hide you, Octavia. If no one there recognizes you, people will get suspicious. And if there were any kind of emergency…"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," she grumbled. Her bouncing finally stopped, and she slouched down in her seat with a glare I thought must have been ten times as worse as mine.

As usual, it was Bellamy who broke the tension. "It's okay, O. It's not all it's cracked up to be. And I'm sure Nylah will tell you about all the crazy adventures she has sitting in a corner by herself."

"Float yourself, Bellamy."

"Nylah!" Aurora exclaimed, but Bell waved her off.

"Okay, no, I deserved that one. I'm sorry, Ny. It'll be cool to have you there. Dress looks good, Mom."

"Thank you, Bella—wait, hold on! Where do you think you're going?"

Her question caught him halfway to the door, and he slowly turned around with a grimace. "I'm supposed to study with Megara. Physics exam coming up."

"Study?" Aurora asked, and her tone made my stomach curl up into a knot.

Bellamy tried to keep his face blank, but the self-satisfied smirk would not be defeated. "Uh…yes?"

Octavia let out an indelicate snort, and earned herself a pointed look from her mother. She rolled her eyes, and sank even further down in her chair.

"Alright, just—don't be too long, okay?"

"Uh-huh. Thanks, Mom."

"And be careful!"

"Got it!" he called, but he was already out in the hallway.

The door swung shut behind him, and Aurora shook her head. "What am I going to do with him?"

"Ground him for being a jerk," I suggested, and she chuckled.

"It's not the jerk I'm worried about as much as the girl."

"Then tell him he can't see her," Octavia said.

"That'd only make him more determined. Teenage boys are not that simple, Octavia."

"Fine. What would I know? I've never met one."

Aurora cast her a warning glance, and I quickly cleared my throat. "The dress really does look nice. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, Nylah," she said with a nod. She sent me a weak smile, returning to her sewing with a furrowed brow. "I just wish there was a way to make it more practical. There isn't much else you can do on the Ark in a dress, and you'll probably grow out of it in no time."

I wanted to comment that I didn't feel like I was growing at all, but I didn't want to disagree with her when tensions were already so high. Instead, I chose to think about the dress. It was true that they weren't really in fashion anymore. They were rather impractical, even for children and the portions of the population that didn't do as much demanding work. They also used a lot of fabric, which I knew was something the Ark didn't have a lot of. I was incredibly thankful to Aurora for making it, and just wished there were a way I could give her back something.

The idea was sudden, and I nearly snapped my neck as my head popped up. "Does this have lining?"

Aurora didn't even bother looking up at me, but I could hear the incredulity in her voice. "Of course not. I don't have enough fabric for that, and you don't need it, Nylah."

"But what if I did?"

Now she lifted her head, squinting her eyes with a mixture of anger and confusion. "Nylah…"

"If we put lining in the dress, it can have pockets on the inside of the skirt that no one will see. Pockets big enough for rations."

There were a few seconds of silence as the idea sank into everyone's heads. I'd be aiding my father in a capital crime, but my help would make it much easier to commit. Dad couldn't take too much at a time because he was subjected to searches. If he could just get something home, or if I could visit him at work, I could take the supplies and go on my merry way. Even if there were an emergency on the Ark and I was forced to concede to a random search, no one would be checking up my dress. I could traffic the goods from my father's hands to the Blake's table, and no one would be the wiser.

"My smart guardian angel," Aurora said softly as she looked up at me. She quickly got to her feet, kissing me on the cheek before turning to the table. "I know I have enough thread. I just have to check how much fabric I…"

The sentence fell away as she moved her sewing kit to the side, revealing the two small squares of fabric she had left. They were much too small for pockets, let alone to start the lining we'd need to keep the compartments hidden. I saw the small, rare smile on Aurora's face flicker and die, and my stomach went cold.

"Wh-What if we did a pattern?" I suggested quickly. "If I helped you sew squares into the skirt, then maybe we could…"

"No, you're right. We need the lining," she cut me off, glaring down at the table. She glanced up at the clock on the wall, and her face turned to a stone. Without a word, she grabbed her jacket off one of the chairs, pulling it on and patting down her hair.

"Mom, where are you going?"

"We need more fabric. I just need to go…talk to someone…" She kissed Octavia on the head, then turned back to me. "Nylah, can you finish the hem of the skirt? Like I showed you?"

"Yeah. Are you sure you don't…?"

"It's okay, Nylah. I'll be back soon. The pockets are a very good idea."

She helped me down from the chair, handing me the needle and thread I'd need to finish the skirt and seating me across from Octavia. Her eyes flicked between the two of us for a few moments, both staring up at her in confusion and worry, before she finally seemed to steel herself for the walk to the door.

She turned on her heel, but paused before she got to the hall. "Remember what we talked about. There shouldn't be an inspection, but if anyone knocks on this door, you get down beneath the floor, Octavia. I don't care if it's Benedict or Bellamy or me. You know what to do." She looked at me and then her daughter, waiting to hear the promised phrases we'd been practicing since we were children, before she walked out the door.

"Stay quiet."

"Stay safe."

"That's my girls," Aurora said with a sad smile. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." And then she was gone.

I glanced over at Octavia, noticing the longing gaze that lingered on the door as the small glimpse of the hallway disappeared. I wanted to console her, to tell her that everything would be okay, but how could I say that to my best friend if I didn't believe it? Octavia would never get to speak to anyone she hadn't known her whole life. She couldn't meet new people or go to school or see the Ark. She couldn't look out a window and look at space. She'd be stuck sitting in this room or hiding under the floor for her whole life, and I couldn't think of a single way to change it.

Octavia glanced up, catching my look and grinning at me bitterly. "I guess we're really growing up now, if she thinks she can leave us alone."

"I guess…"

She narrowed her eyes at the door, her arms crossed firmly over her chest. "I don't even hear anyone walking by most days. I have no idea what the Ark looks like, or where we are in it. But we have to be near the edge, right?"

"Kind of. I guess it's hard to explain."

"Can you try? Please?"

I looked up at her again, her wide, innocent eyes an almost painful sight. It was barely a second before I put the needle aside, and rested my elbows on the table to face her. "Well, the Ark is made up of a lot of different stations. They used to be countries, but…"

"But now they're sectors, I know," she cut me off. "I don't need to know how the Ark was made, Ny. I need to know what it looks like, what it feels like. What's on the other side of my front door?"

I looked at the door, avoiding her pleading gaze and trying to visualize the path I walked to get home every day. "Well, there's a hallway. The walls look just like this, but with arches and lights and wires. There's a few other doors, where other people live, and they're painted yellow with their sector numbers on them. They go uh…up on the left and down on the right. And the hallway wraps around, so if you go right it takes you toward where I live, and left is communal services. And…there's a window…"

Octavia had closed her eyes, her chin resting on her hands as she tried to see what I was describing. "What…what can you see?"

"Usually it's just space. A lot of black, with star clusters in the distance. The constellations look a little different than they do in books, how people saw them on the ground, but…they're beautiful."

"I wanna hear about Earth."

"It's not that far away. If you look out the window at the right time you can see it, and the moon rises up on the other side. It's white and gray and full of craters. Dad used to say that it stays close to the Earth because it hopes that some day it can be just as beautiful."

Octavia's lips pulled up into a small smile. "What does it look like?"

"Even with all the radiation, it's incredible. All the oceans are bright blue, and the atmosphere sort of makes it glow. The land is all green and brown, and depending on when you see it, you can see all the different countries. And the clouds, they—sometimes they cover everything, just a blanket of white that hides the ground from us. And they swirl and move, and…"

I cut myself off abruptly, looking over at Octavia again. She was still smiling, but her cheeks were glistening with tears. She didn't seem to notice until I stopped speaking, and her eyes fluttered open with water-webbed lashes. For a moment, she tried to hide it, wiping her face and attempting a chuckle. But then the chuckle turned into a sob, and she openly started crying.

I dropped the sewing supplies, ignoring the thread that trailed behind my dress as I ran around the table, hugging Octavia for all I was worth as she slid to the ground. We sat like that for a long time, her shoulders shaking under my arm as I held her to my chest. I rubbed her shoulder until the cries subsided into sniffling, and she finally managed to compose herself.

"Sorry. I just—I want to see it, Nylah. I want to see it so bad."

"I know, O. You will. I'll make sure you get to see Earth some day. I promise."

* * *

**A/N: I should really work on something else now. I've been really caught up in this, and there will be a lot of prologues because I'm over excited. So forget what I said about "a few." I might just change these all to chapters instead of prologues. We'll see. Thank you all for reading, and to MsKnives19, Iwannabelikeme, Valkyrie101, LovelyFandomLover, RoseRedGurl, lieselmax, ChasingWolves, kg, Blondie23, 1Embrace the Crazy, xxBethJoyxx, gleerox, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, and LionHeartMisfit for your reviews. I love you all!**

**-Brittney**


	5. Prologue V

I sat almost motionless at the table, narrowing my eyes at the pile of wires and circuitry in front of me. Maybe if I looked at them long enough, I could glare them into submission. Every time I thought I might be able to figure the pattern out, the whole thing failed and I had to start from scratch again to find my mistake. It would have been simple with a manual, but the parts were decades old and long forgotten by now. That meant that it was mostly trial and error.

I carefully twisted the end of one wire round another, then dragged my finger along its length until I reached the opposite end. No breach, no kinks, and a solid insulation. In theory, it should work. Maybe.

I pulled the blank television screen on the table closer to me, running my hand along the bottom edge until I found the notch I was looking for. My eyes fluttered shut in a quiet moment of hope, and I adjusted the thin piece of fabric I had around my fingers to stop me from shocking myself. Then I pushed the wire up against its appropriate place and held my breath, waiting for absolutely nothing. The air rushed out of my chest in a sigh, and I threw the cord back down on the table as I slumped back in my chair.

Before I could sink too far into my own pit of self-pity, a pair of warm hands clasped over my eyes. "¡Tres conjeturas quién!"

"Dad…"

"Lucky guess, niña," he laughed. He drummed his hands on my shoulders, and I felt him rest his chin on top of my head. "Now what's all this sighing about?"

"It didn't work. Again."

"But you did it again. You put this whole thing together. Sometimes the practice is the most important part."

"Yeah, well it's not more important than making the television work," I grumbled, and wiped a hand down my face.

Dad let out an exaggerated sigh and stood up to his full height. "Well defeated sighs are certainly not sounds the birthday girl should be making. What can I do to help?"

"It's not really my birthday, Da—…"

"Ooh, I know! Why don't you try this?" He dug around in his pocket for a moment before laying his palm out flat. He had a cheesy grin on his face, one that only widened as I let out a small gasp.

"Oh my God! Where did you get this?!" I snatched the small plug out of his hands, holding it up to the light so I could inspect the bits of wiring sticking out from the faded yellow plastic.

"So that is actually helpful? That's good, because I have no idea what it is."

I jumped out of my chair, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek. "It's an RCA connector, and it's exactly what I needed. I think."

He laughed again as I scrambled back into my seat. "You are your mother's daughter."

I paused to grin at him over my shoulder, then picked up the discarded wire so I could try and affix the end. It took a lost of twisting and coaxing, but I finally managed to get what I hoped was a decent connection. I traced the small port with the tip of my finger, hesitating again. Dad put an encouraging hand on my shoulder, and after a deep breath, I plugged it in.

I jumped back with a squeal of surprise as a spark jumped to life near my hand. The end of the cord flashed a brilliant white and hissed for a moment, but nothing else happened. If anything, the television screen seemed even darker than it had before.

"Apparently I'm not her daughter enough," I sighed. I propped my elbows on the table and buried my face in my hands. "I'm never gonna get this right."

"Hey, none of that." Dad squatted down next to me, wrapping an arm around me. "Your mother went to school for this for years before she understood. You don't become a telecommunications manufacturer overnight."

"I don't want to be a manufacturer. I just want this stupid screen to turn on."

"I know. I'm sorry, I know." He pulled his arm tighter around me, tugging me into a side hug and rubbing my shoulder in consolation. "Come on, take a break. Wash your hands and we'll eat." I groaned in protest, but Dad stood up and hooked his arms under me, hauling me to my feet. "Oh, deja de quejarte."

"Es mi cumpleaños. Me quejaré si quiero."

"¿Tu cumpleaños? What happened to 'it's not really my birthday, Dad'?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I shrugged, wiping my hands off and heading for the next room. "Tomorrow's close enough, I guess."

"Not for Octavia," he chuckled. "Apparently she won't stop talking about dinner tomorrow night. Says she feels like she hasn't seen you or Bellamy."

"I've been busy," I said, a bit too quickly. "I—I had a hard history test this week."

"Hey, you don't have to explain yourself to me. You kids are growing up, chica, and that means it gets harder to balance your time. But it'll be good to have the three of you together again."

"Yeah. Right."

I avoided his curious look and turned my back, busying myself by trying to clean up my table of useless wires. I was lucky enough that he dropped the subject, and I heard him move next door to start setting up the table. Even with him gone, I didn't allow myself to admit the small sigh of relief that crawled out of my throat. Everything was fine.

It was a few more minutes before I realized that I wasn't quite off the hook. Dad and I sat down for dinner. He sang me 'Feliz Cumpleaños' a day early, since he insisted there should be at least one time he got to do it by himself. We started eating, and managed to hold up a normal conversation about school and my birthday and the Unity Day festivities. Dad waited until I least expected it, and then pulled the ground out from under me.

"So why don't you want to see Bellamy?"

"What?" My mouth snapped shut the moment the word was out in the air, and my dad raised an eyebrow. Yeah, that was definitely too fast.

"You sound a little reluctant to have dinner with the Blakes tomorrow. Now, unless there's been some disastrous, life-altering apocalypse I don't know about, you're not mad at Octavia. So what's up, kiddo?"

"Nothing," I said, forcing the words to come out at a normal pace. I shrugged, and turned back to my food. "Nothing's up with me and Bellamy."

He nodded slightly, but didn't push the conversation forward. We just sat in awkward silence, me hyper-aware of the fact that my dad was watching me, and him hyper-aware of the fact that I was determined to avoid his gaze.

"I was really hoping we could push this conversation off for another year or two," he sighed.

My eyes snapped up, narrowing when I saw his small smile. "What conversation?"

"You and Bellamy."

"There's nothing wrong, Dad. I just told you. I don't care about Bellamy."

"Well, if you don't care I guess we won't go tomorrow."

"No!" He raised an eyebrow at my outburst, and I collapsed in defeat. "Look, I'm not mad at him. It's stupid and I'll get over it. It's nothing." I turned back to my food as he sighed.

"Nylah, you are…"

"If you say 'you are a great girl and any guy would be lucky to have you' I will throw my fork at you."

He held up his hands in surrender, but only held his silence for a few seconds. "You know, when I was your age…"

"Oh, great. Here we go."  
"No, I'm being serious now. When I was young, I had a crush on my babysitter."

"Dad! This is so not helping!" I slid my hands down my face, trying not to think of Bellamy as the uninterested guy who'd raised me and seen me in diapers. Bellamy wasn't my babysitter. He was my friend. I was just having a really hard time figuring out how to show him.

My father ignored my anguish, his heart set on his story. "She was a couple of years older than me, absolutely gorgeous. She was going through med training, and I used to help her study by holding her flashcards. On the one hand, it was great, cause she felt like she could tell me anything. But at the same time, I was just the little boy from down the hall she used to watch for a few extra credits."

"Until you grew up," I said, rolling my eyes. "Then you proved to her what a man you were and she saw you as your own, incredible person. And you went on many an incredible date, I'm sure."

"Nope."

I paused, squinting at him as he shrugged. "What?"

"No, I didn't date her. Didn't do much of anything, as a matter of fact."

"Well then…what happened?"

"I grew up," he said quietly, almost as if he were letting me in on a secret. "I stayed busy, considered other options, and moved on. Met your mother, got married, had you, and now we're here."

"Great, so you're just telling me to give up on him?"

"I thought you said there wasn't anything to give up on?"

I quickly snapped my mouth shut again, glaring at his sly smile. He was good, and I'd have to choose my words carefully. "I'm…I'm admitting to…the plausibility of the existence of a situation that might…involve Bellamy, but not necessarily confirming it…"

"Do you have a vocab test you've been studying for?" I narrowed my eyes again, which fueled his grin. "I'm not telling you to give up on Bellamy. I'm telling you to keep moving, and focus on yourself. I know that's a little hard for you, but it's in your best interest. Either you'll show him that you're not a little girl and he'll come around, or you'll show everyone you're not a little girl, and what he thinks won't mean a damn thing."

I smiled down at my plate. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're very welcome. Just as long as you remember you're always going to be a little girl to me."

"Don't worry," I said with a chuckle. "I'm not even sure how to go about the whole 'proving I'm a grown up' thing just yet."

"What about that boy in your class? Kehan?"

"What about him?"

"Well, didn't he ask you about going to the Unity Day Masquerade with him this year? Or something to that effect?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Dad, aren't you supposed to be chasing boys away from me instead of encouraging them?"

"Consider it part of your birthday gift. I'm not saying you have to do anything about it. I just hope that you can live your life a little more openly. Waiting around for one person to change their mind will take away from a lot of good opportunities."

"Yes, oh wise one."

Dad gave me a pointed look, but grinned. "Eat your food, sassy. You feel a little better now?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Good. I hate talking about boys."

"You started it."

* * *

**A/N: I should probably be stopped. I should also probably mention that, since a lot of these are very episodic, they're chronological but not necessarily sequential. So this one is probably a year or two after the previous one. I know I've really been cranking this story out (geez, five short chapters in a week? Whol even am I anymore?) But thank you for all the support you guys have shown this story. Thank you for reading and following, and thank you to 1Embrace the Crazy, artificial-paradises, and LionHeartMisfit for reviewing.**

**If you're new to any of my writing, I'll also just drop a small PSA that I also post a lot about my stories on my tumblr, thetenthdoctorscompanion. So if you want to get a peek at visuals from the stories, snippets and playlists and side prompts and what not, you can go check that out. Thank you, and I'll talk to you soon!**

**-Brittney**

**EDIT: This chapter has been edited since 06/01/2015. I'm not sure why you'd need to know that if you're reading this now, but...yeah... My sincerest apologies if my Spanish is incorrect!**


	6. Prologue VI

_Trigger Warning: _This chapter contains themes of sexual harassment of minors. It's slight but I didn't want to take any chances. Thank you.

* * *

_"__Assuming all variables are positive integers, if X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC…"_

I was sitting in my normal seat at the table in the Blake home, sitting across from Aurora as she worked carefully on repairing one of the guard uniforms. I had my homework spread out in front of me, eyes flitting from textbook to workbook to class notes to hand outs so often that I wasn't actually sure I was absorbing any of the information. Algebra was definitely not one of my favorite subjects. Remembering all the correct number and letter combinations was always difficult. Of course, it didn't exactly help to have Bellamy and Octavia running around the room neighing like horses.

_"__Assuming all variables are positive integers, if X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4AC…"_

I read the same question over for the third time, unable to process any of the words as Bellamy galloped past my chair again with his sister on his back. I groaned, slamming my elbows onto the table and burying my face in my hands. "Do you guys really have to do that? I have an exam tomorrow."

"Nylah!" Octavia whined, but her mother gave her a look.

"School first. Keep it down while Nylah's working."

Bellamy smirked, sliding Octavia off of his back and dropping her into the chair next to me. He grabbed my shoulders and peered down at the worksheet in front of me, only half completed. "Come on, Ny. You work too hard. Take a break."

"Go for a pony ride!" Octavia said, tugging on my sleeve.

"I don't want a pony ride. I want to do my homework."

"Nerd," Bellamy jabbed. He stepped around me to lean against the table, his arms crossed over his chest. "Give up the act, Nylah. You love pony rides. So, jungle, desert, city…"

"I don't want a pony ride, Bellamy."

He blinked in surprise at my sharp tone, but it still wasn't enough to wipe the superior smile off his face. "Okay, okay. Why not? Are you afraid?"

I bit back the automatic, defensive response. Bellamy would tease me until I gave up and stopped doing my homework for him. And part of me was dying to give in. I did love pony rides, but I was trying to stop loving them, especially from Bellamy. I wanted to let him pick me up and carry me around, but it was something he'd been doing since I was a kid. I had to be not-a-kid Nylah, who was completely unaffected by Bellamy's charm.

I raised an eyebrow, narrowing my eyes into the most determined glare I could manage. "Maybe I'm just not interested in riding you."

Bellamy's eyes went wide, and Aurora choked out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a hurriedly concealed laugh. I wasn't exactly sure what it was that I had said. I'd heard one of the older girls in my math class say she was dying to ride Bellamy, and I knew that she liked him. So I had a pretty good idea what it _might_ mean. But if that was something that girls who liked Bellamy wanted, then I should clearly not want that. And even though I didn't know the intricate details, the phrase seemed to have the desired effect.

Aurora quickly covered her smile when Bellamy sent her a shocked look, but it took her a second to compose herself. I could hear the laughter she tried to smother, still lingering on her lips when she dropped her hand and tried to give me a stern look. "Nylah, that's enough. Back to work."

I shrugged, taking advantage of the silence to reread the question I was working on for the fourth time. This time I understood what it meant, and I quickly began to scribble down my answer.

"Well if Nylah's not going, I want another pony ride!" Octavia jumped out of her chair, running around me to pull on Bellamy's arm.

He laughed, tousling her hair and then leaning down to her level. "You want another one? Ha, okay. Do you want to go through the jungle or the forest?"

"I want to see the Ark, Bell. Take me out the door."

That was enough to bring the entire room to a stop. I looked up from my work to share a shocked, sad look with Bellamy, and hurriedly glanced over at Aurora for direction. Her face had gone cold, remorseful for just a moment before it turned blank and stern. "That's enough. All of you."

Octavia looked like she was going to protest, but before she could a loud beeping noise rang through the apartment. All four of us stopped to turn to the clock, which was flashing a seemingly random number. But the numbers never seemed to make sense when the alarm went off. Unfortunately, that didn't change its meaning.

"It's time," Aurora said shortly, pushing her work aside and getting up out of her chair.

"But no!" Octavia whimpered, already eyeing the floor under the table in terror. "I—I don't want to!"

"Tavia, it's okay," I said. I quickly got up from my chair, getting out of the way so Bellamy and his mother could move the table. I hugged her tightly and tried to turn her so she would stop staring at the floor. "It's only a few minutes and we'll be right here."

"You don't have to be under the floor," she shot, pushing out of my arms. She turned back to her mother, desperation tingeing her voice. "How do you even know?"

"Yeah, Mom," Bellamy grumbled. "Tell us why you're never surprised by surprise inspections."

"Mind yourself, Bellamy Blake," Aurora scolded. She kneeled down in front of us, taking Octavia's hands and giving her a stern look. "Tell your sister what happens if they find her."

"She knows what happens. You've told her a thousand times."

Aurora shot him a sharp look with her lips pressed into a tight line. "Nylah. Tell Octavia what happens."

I hesitated for a moment. None of us liked being reminded what the consequences of our actions. We did what we felt was right to protect Octavia, but according to the Ark, that was wrong. It made us criminals. I didn't want to think of myself as a criminal.

"Bellamy, Octavia and I will be arrested. You and Dad will be floated."

Aurora gave a tight nod, narrowing her eyes at Octavia. "That's right. _That's_ why you have to hide."

"O," Bellamy called. His face was tight, but as much as he hated the situation, he opened the hatch in the floor. "You know the drill."

"I hate the drill! Sometimes I wish I was never even born!"

I went to grab Octavia's hand, but her mother grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to face her. "Stop it, Octavia. I know you're afraid, but fear is a demon. Close your eyes and tell yourself that you are not afraid. That is how you slay the demon." Octavia nodded solemnly, but gasped when someone started pounding on the door. Aurora fixed her grip on her shoulders, speaking urgently. "Say it."

"…I am not afraid…"

It was weak, but it was enough. Aurora smiled, rushing to kiss her on the temple and pushing her towards the hole in the floor. Octavia only made it one or two steps before she cried out, trying to run for her toy on the shelf. I grabbed her and pushed her toward her brother before sprinting around the table. I climbed up on the chair to get her stuffed animal and toss it to Bellamy, then hopped down and started moving the table back into place. Bell and I fell into routine like a well-oiled machine, the table sliding to its original place just as he shut the door on top of Octavia. We countered each other around the table, Bellamy grabbing his handheld off the shelf at the same moment I sat down in front of my homework. He looked over at his mother with a nod, and then she swung the door open.

I felt my heart stutter as the guards filed into the room, and quickly diverted my attention down to my homework. I heard Aurora greet the Inspector, and the short exchange between them, but the words were muffled in my ears. My skin tingled as one of the guards walked up behind me, tapping the walls and dragging his hand across the back of my chair. He paused, and I tried to remind myself to keep breathing.

"Thirty-two."

I looked up quickly, blinking at the man behind me. "Uh…s-sorry?"

He nodded at my worksheet with a small smirk. "Number ten. It's thirty-two."

"Oh! Right, um…thank you." I prayed that the smile I gave him didn't look as painful as it felt, and ducked my head down to the table to write in the answer.

"Nerd," Bellamy whispered again.

I looked up sharply, ready to glare at the completely uncalled for jab, but stopped when I saw his face. His eyes were just slightly wider than normal, his lips pursed as he glanced down at the table. It took me a couple seconds to understand that the look was supposed to go through the table. Down to Octavia. Something was wrong.

"You think you're guard material, kid?" Bell and I both looked over to the door, where the Inspector was watching us with expectation. "Come here. Let's have a look at you."

"I'm good, thanks," Bellamy replied. I noticed the way he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his jaw clenching. I knew that being on the guard was one of the only things he'd ever wanted for himself, but for some reason, he couldn't move.

"Bellamy," Aurora scolded, clearly unaware of the problem. "Stand up. Now."

I glanced back at him for a moment to see the muscles in his jaw pulled tight. I pulled a face, like I was suffering from second hand embarrassment, and pulled all of my handouts into my lap. I leafed through them, busying myself in the silence, and a moment later they were all fluttering to the ground. I hissed a curse and crawled under the table to collect them. My hand grazed over Bellamy's boot and after a moment of hesitation, he stood up and walked to the door.

My eyes widened as I saw the tassel peeking out from between the tiles, betraying Octavia's hiding place below us. I promptly sat on top of it, gathering the papers once more and beginning the long process of reordering them by date. I kept my eyes cast down, but tried to listen to the Inspector's evaluation of Bellamy in the background. Phrases like "good posture," "powerful stance," and "kinda shaky" floated to my ears.

"And who's this?"

It was a few seconds before I responded, completely unaware that the question had been directed at me. It wasn't until Bellamy cleared his throat that I looked up. Everyone was now watching me sit under the table, and I felt my cheeks heat up from the attention. "Um…Nylah Parker. I—I'm just visiting…"

"Parker," the Inspector repeated. "You Benedict's little girl?" I nodded silently, and his face broke into a grin. "Damn, you are a small thing. What are you doing here?"

I felt my mouth gaping like a fish as I looked between Bellamy and his mother. It would have been easy enough to say that my dad was working, which was true, or that Bellamy usually helped me with my homework, which was also true. But under the scrutiny of five different pairs of eyes, my mind had been wiped blank.

"I've been teaching her how to sew," Aurora offered with a nervous smile. "Bellamy's not really fit to be the next seamstress."

"Ah, passing on the trade. And are you planning on taking over the business, Miss Parker?" I nodded quickly, taking a relieved breath. But the air immediately froze in my throat when I realized that he was walking toward me. He kneeled down in front of the table, peering down at me with a look I couldn't quite place. "Let me see your hands."

I hesitated again, eyeing the hand he held out to me. Instead of taking it, I held my own up in the air, spreading my fingers wide and flipping them back and forth so he could see both sides. I saw the flicker of annoyance flash over his face, but he composed his expression into a smile.

"Small, but they look pretty nimble. Stand up."

My heart stopped again, hyperaware of the tassel beneath me. There wasn't a lot of choice in the situation. His hand was already reached out, and if I didn't take it, I was sure it would grab me and drag me out by force. I glanced at Bellamy with worry, my mind whirling, but slipped my hand into the Inspector's.

Thinking fast, I stood up and slammed my head into the bottom of the table. There was a crash as all of the sewing supplies went clattering to the floor and spilling over the tiles. I let out a surprised yelp and grabbed my head, staring down at the mess I'd left behind. It was a wreck, but there was no tassel visible.

"Oh my—Nylah?" Aurora gasped. She tried to step forward, but a look from the Inspector kept her back. "Are you alright?"

"She's fine. Just fine," he chuckled. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and my stomach curled up like a small animal. I bit my lip, but his smile just grew wider. "She's just a little overeager. I think she'll make a good replacement, Miss Blake. Maybe she can help me out with a few things in the future, huh?"

I tried to take a step back, knocking into the table with a small gasp. The skin under his hand felt like it was burning, and the animal in my stomach started to claw at the lining. The feeling itself was enough to bring me to a realization. I'd never really thought about how Aurora knew when inspections were. I never though about where she got her extra supplies, or why Bellamy was so bitter about her. But in that moment, my brain went from trying to force the pieces together to trying not to tear itself apart at the image they created. In that moment, everything made sense.

Bellamy was at my side in an instant, an arm around my shoulder and a glare threatening to destroy the Inspector's face. Even without words, the opposition was clear. I felt a little safer with Bellamy next to me, by the older man's expression still nagged at my stomach.

"Got a bit of a protective streak in you? Suppose you think that will be useful on the job." Bellamy refused to answer, but the man simply grinned at the challenge, looking him up and down. "The only thing you have to protect on guard duty is the law, son. Maybe a couple months of training and…experience will teach you that."

To his credit, Bellamy stood his ground. He held tight to me as the Inspector walked away, only pausing to whisper something to Aurora that made her flinch. His guards followed him out, neither one of them saying a word about conduct. So much for, "To guard and protect us all."

The moment the door closed behind them, my legs nearly buckled. Bellamy grabbed me and helped me back to my chair. He let his mother take care of pulling Octavia out of the floor, kept an arm around me until I could get my eyes to focus again. It took both him and his mother to calm my breathing down, and even after I regained my composure, he didn't leave my side. He helped me with my alegbra homework in a would-be-casual voice, and even walked me home at the end of the night. It was something he hadn't done in ages, and it made me feel like I was still a kid, but for the moment I was willing to let it go. I was still too shaken up to be annoyed by the way he stayed close, like he was already on the guard.

"I told you I'm fine, Bellamy. Nothing happened. It just…freaked me out."

"You're not fine, Nylah. That…creep Grus made sure of that. I just…"

"Chill out, Amy. He's a creep. It freaked me out. But I'm still me."

"Well you don't look it. I swear I just watched you age like eight years." My lips turned up into a bitter smirk, letting out a breath of laughter that caught his attention. "What the hell is so funny about that?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just…watching you worry is kinda fun."

He rolled his eyes and shoved my shoulder a bit. "Oh, well thank you. I'm glad my concern's going to good use."

"It makes me feel better, either way." We slowed to a stop in front of my door, and I gave him a reassuring smile. "Really, Bellamy. Thanks for walking me. I'll be okay."

"Right. Whatever you say, Lala."

"Wow, thanks," I groaned, which finally made him smirk. "Now I feel like a kid."

"Good. You should." I gave him a pointed look and he held up his hands. "Okay, sorry. Just let me know if you need anything, okay? Just a message away."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Night."

I went for the door, but Bellamy grabbed my arm. He gave me the best smile he could manage, which—even given everything that had happened—was pretty dazzling. "Hey. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah," I said after an involuntary pause. Stupid Bellamy Blake. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! What a finale, huh? But most of the important people survived, so I'm pleased. Thank you for reading this story and all the support that you've shown it. I didn't expect it to take off as quickly as it did. Thank you for the reviews I got from Robotic She-wolf, jarmrcc1, shirosagi, BayAreaBeliever, artificial-paradises, allieh54, BlackMoonWhiteSky, FangirlFTW, thetardistravels, MissLaufeyson, TheDysfunctional, queen ares (Thank you! These chapters are shorter because I still consider them prologues, like little vignettes. Once everyone is on the ground, they should lengthen up.), and LionHeart Misfit! I love you all!**

**-Brittney**


	7. Prologue VII

I've never been a fan of crowds, but I usually made an exception for Unity Day. For one, it was really the only time where everyone on the Ark came together. After the nuclear disaster on Earth, a lot of cultures were lost. The random sampling in space left us with a pretty wide range of backgrounds, and no real dominant religion. People celebrated what they wanted to in smaller groups, but as a whole we only really celebrated one thing. Unity Day was the one thing that every one of us had in common, and that became the most important holiday.

Another reason I went was because of Octavia. That turned out to be a complicated reason, but one that stuck. When I was younger, I went because I was part of Octavia's link to the outside world. She wanted to live vicariously through me, or really just live at all. She'd ask questions and demand lengthy descriptions of everything I did with my day, just so she could get a glimpse of what the real world might be like outside her door. But as she got older, all that curiosity died. I stopped talking so much about my day because I didn't like reminding her that she couldn't have one. I couldn't talk to her about my time at the Unity Day Masquerade because, in a way, I felt guilty for going. But at the same time, I still felt like I owed it to Octavia to go. What was the use of being free, of having all these opportunities, if I didn't make the most of them? If I took them for granted? So I kept going because of Octavia, and stopped talking about it for her too.

The other reason was that I kept going was simply that, for a crowded room full of strangers, the masquerade was a lot of fun. I wasn't big on crowds or drinking, but I did like music. And when I was sure that no one would be paying attention to me, I liked dancing too. In a room with so much noise and so many people, everyone hiding their faces behind masks, that was a little bit easier to do. The anonymity didn't turn me into a crazy party animal, but it did coax me a little further out of my shell. A little bit.

"Geez, Parker, you've gotta loosen up a bit," Kehan said with a grin. He nudged me with his elbow as we walked down the hallway, keeping his strides short so I could keep up with his longer legs. "This is our second date, after all."

"Only if you count last year," I said sheepishly. "I'm sorry I left so early."

"No apology needed. And I do count last year. So you can breathe."

I busied myself with fixing my mask so I wouldn't have to look at his smile. "Sorry. I just don't really…"

"Like crowds, I know. Pretty sure I learned that lesson last time."

I could hear the joke in his voice, but my mouth started forming an apology of its own accord. "Kehan, really, I'm so…"

"It's okay, Ny. Honestly. Thank you for braving the crowd to give me another chance." He slung one of his arms over my shoulders, a feat made all too easy by the fact that he was about half a foot taller than me.

I could feel him peering down at me, but I avoided his eyes again. "Still. I said that I'd come with you and I left in under an hour. It wasn't right."

"Eh, maybe not. But I think I figured out what went wrong." I looked up at him in confusion, but he just grinned. His hand slid down into mine, pulling me along a little faster as we approached the party. "Come on. Some people I want you to meet."

The phrase alone was enough to send my stomach into somersaults—I'd agreed to come hang out with Kehan, not to _actually_ interact with a room full of people—but it was too late to dispute. I was dragged around the corner and through the doors, immediately assaulted by the loud music and chatter of strangers. My hand tightened automatically, squeezing Kehan's fingers with an embarrassing sense of discomfort. He made sure to pull me a little closer, his grip on my hand secure as we weaved between groups so that I wouldn't accidentally get swept up and lost in the tide. It made breathing a little easier, but I could still feel the people pressing in on all sides of me.

It was probably only a minute until we came out on the other side of the room, but it felt like hours. Kehan pulled me toward a group of people clustered by the wall, his voice somehow sounding soft despite its volume. "I want you to meet some of my friends. Hey! You four!"

All four people snapped to attention, hands behind their backs and eyes wide. Or at least, I assumed all their eyes were wide. One of the three boys was wearing a thick pair of black goggles that obscured half of his face.

"Jeez, Kehan, you trying to scare us to death?" one of the other boys complained, his shoulders sagging in relief. "Thought you were the damn guard."

"Nah, not yet," he replied with a wolfish grin. "Nylah, I want you to meet some of my friends. This is Craig Jackson, Penelope Kapur, Jasper Jordan, and Monty Green. Guys, this is Nylah Parker."

"Heeey," Jasper slurred, pushing his goggles up onto his forehead in a way that made his hair stick up at odd angles. He stepped forward, slinging an arm around me without warning. I briefly hoped for the ability to collapse in on myself. "The famous Nylah! Kehan doesn't shut up about you. You should really think about ditching him. Total dweeb."

"Right. This coming from you," Kehan said, firmly removing Jasper's arm from my shoulder. "And why do you sound drunk?"

"Cause he is," Penelope gushed. She poked Jasper in the ribs, making him squawk, and she giggled. "Lightweight."

"Monty started working on an experiment to make his own moonshine," Craig explained. He pulled a small flask from behind his back and held it up to the light. With a wink in my direction, he threw the contents back. His face immediately screwed up in disgust, and he coughed a few times. "Gah! Tastes like shit!"

"But I feel flyyy," Jasper sang, falling into Penelope's waiting arms.

The smallest boy, Monty, rolled his eyes. "Jasper, there's no way that you're drunk. Even if you drank the entire batch, the alcohol content is barely enough to get you buzzed. You're just being weird."

"I am not!" Jasper insisted, propelling himself forward and falling into his friend. "This stuff is magic. You're a genius, buddy. Monty's Magic Moonshine! We're gonna be rich!"

"You guys want any?" Craig offered, holding the flask up again.

I stopped breathing for a moment, but Kehan grabbed my hand and shook his head. "Nah, we're good. Thanks."

"Are you sur—…?"

"Suit yourself! More for me!" Jasper snagged the container and tipped it back in a flash. Craig promptly smacked him in the chest, nearly making him choke, and the group burst into laughter.

Kehan tugged on my hand, catching my attention and pulling me a couple of steps away from everyone else. He took both my hands and offered me a somewhat nervous smile. "The way I see it, last year was awkward. Like, really awkward. And that was my fault. Inviting you to the dance and expecting you to spend the whole time with someone you didn't really know was stupid, so I'm sorry. I thought maybe if I introduced you to some other people you could talk to instead of me, it might be a little easier. I know you're not huge on the whole social scene, but they're good guys. Penny's nice, and…well Craig and Jasper can kinda be tools but Monty's really cool. He's pretty quiet sometimes. I think you guys would get along. So…" He cleared his throat, shifting awkwardly on his feet. "I wanted things to be better this year, but if you're ever not comfortable, we can totally go. Or—Or you can just go if you want. Whatever you want to do is fine by me."

I stared up at Kehan in a little bit of awe. I'd been shocked when he asked me to go to the masquerade with him again. We'd gone together the previous year, and it'd pretty much been a wreck. He tried to make conversation with me, but all I seemed to be able to think about was Octavia, sitting at home alone and sewing at the table. But of course, I couldn't talk to him about Octavia. I ended up not talking about anything at all. My words got bottled up in my throat, the pressure building until I actually got dizzy. The music was too loud, there were too many people, Kehan was too close. And I ran. I ran all the way home to Octavia and didn't talk to him for a month. Who would want to talk to me after the stunt I'd pulled?

As it turned out, Kehan did. He approached me slowly, until we were back to talking in class, working on projects together without so much as a single problem. And then he'd asked me out again. He'd clearly put a lot of thought into the night, trying to make sure I'd be comfortable. I appreciated that. The very least I could do was try not to ditch him again.

"Thank you, Kehan," I said, squeezing his hands. "I'm…I'm good…"

"Really? Cause we can go if you want. I have a very elaborate Plan B."

"Well as tempting as that is…" I grinned, forcing air into my lungs. "Let's stay. It'll be fun."

"Alright, then. To a night of fun."

I had my reservations about meeting strangers, but what Kehan told me turned out to be mostly true. Penny was quick to take me under her wing, relieved to have another female presence in the group. She seemed baffled when I told her I didn't have any girl friends either—a lie that made my stomach knot with guilt and thoughts of Octavia—and vowed to start spending time with me regardless of how my date with Kehan turned out. It was clear that she was somewhat smitten with Jasper, the way she giggled at his antics and let her eyes drift to him during lulls in the conversation. I survived a good portion of the conversation just by letting her gush about him.

I quickly decided that I didn't quite agree with Kehan's judgment of the kid. Jasper wasn't a tool. He was just…bubbly. He was more open and energetic than I was immediately comfortable with, but his silliness was something I found I could handle surprisingly well. It was only about an hour before I started returning Jasper's jokes and snarky comments. Everyone seemed a little taken aback, considering how small and quiet I was. I didn't tell them I'd gotten good practice being raised with Bellamy and Octavia.

Craig on the other hand _was_ a bit of a tool. He was very much a realist, so intent on distinguishing himself from the likes of Jasper that he became a bit annoying. I listened patiently while he ranted about what a conspiracy Unity Day was, until Kehan finally distracted him by talking about their recent Earth Skills project.

Monty and I did hit it off, just as Kehan expected. He was a little softer than Jasper, but no less quick or energetic. He was also quick to explain that the moonshine had started out as a hypothetical experiment, but Jasper was all too willing to be a test subject. Monty would test his product himself later of course, but he was waiting for a more controlled environment. He was a proper scientist. I listened to him talk about his passion for engineering as well, only briefly mentioning that my mother had been involved in monitor manufacturing. Wires and circuits I knew—sort of—but I had no desire to talk about my mother.

Even though everyone was exceedingly kind, it wasn't long before I could feel the social interaction taking its toll. My responses got shorter and my eyes started wandering. Sometimes it was easy for me to forget just how much energy it took to talk to more than just the two people I had grown up with. Luckily, Kehan must have been keeping an eye on me. Just a few minutes after I started to check out, he looped his arm through mine and excused us to the dance floor. Normally, I might have protested, but I was too mentally exhausted to care. I needed a moment alone, and standing with Kehan in the middle of a crowd of people who didn't pay a moment's notice of us was about as close as I was going to get.

We laughed and twirled for a few songs before he pulled me to his chest. He kept his hands safely on my back, allowing me to test the edges of my comfort zone on my own terms. I compromised by putting my head and hands against his chest, where I wouldn't have to meet his gaze.

"How are you doing?" he asked gently.

His concern made me smile. "I'm actually okay. It's a lot, but…I'm having fun."

"I'm glad. Everyone seems to really like you."

"I…I guess that's good…"

One of his hands left my back, cupping my cheek and moving my gaze to his face. "Thanks for coming with me tonight, Nylah. I really like you and…I'm glad I got a second shot with you."

I tried to say something along the lines of "me too," but didn't get the words out. The fear of the hand against y face seemed to be tangling painfully with my vocal chords, restricting all movement and rendering me silent.

"Is…Is it okay if I kiss you?"

I was sure I'd never be able to speak again. The fear felt like it might cut clean through my vocal chords now, or at the very least leave lasting damage. I wasn't quiet sure. All I knew was that Kehan was closer to my face than anyone ever had been before, and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing.

"Hey!"

I jumped as a large mass forced its way between us, shoving Kehan back a few feet, even in the crowd. I had to blink my daze away, but when I did, it was quickly replaced by a red glare.

"Bellamy!"

"Is he bothering you?" he demanded, not even glancing back at me as he stared the other boy down.

"No, Bellamy! Why would you—…?"

"I wasn't doing anything wrong, man," Kehan said. He sounded remarkably strong despite how uneasy he looked. He even dared to try pushing Bellamy back. That was the wrong move.

"Oh, yeah? Well I think you should learn to keep your hands to yourself, _man_."

Kehan was sent flying back, only kept on his feet by the group of bystanders who were gathering to watch. People started cheering, pushed Kehan back into the circle. My eyes widened, and before I considered what I was doing, I was standing in between the two boys, pushing Bellamy back from his next attack."

"Stop! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Keeping this creep away from you, Nylah. Now get out of the way."

"I didn't want him away from me! He's my date!"

"Yeah, and his hands were all over you. You're a child, Nylah. Get out of the way!"

"_I'm_ fourteen, and _you_ are a bully and a control freak! You're not the boss of me! Just mind your own business and leave me alone! Come on, Kehan." I ignored all the ooh's from the crowd and grabbed his hand, storming out of the room with my baffled date in tow.

I marched on in a blind rage until Kehan grabbed my hand with both of his, pulling me to a stop in the middle of he hallway. "Woah, woah. Okay, Nylah, slow down. Just breathe."

I turned to face him, suddenly realizing hat I was practically hyperventilating after out escape. The realization only seemed to upset me more, and I let out a strangled noise of frustration. "Ergh! He's just so—agh!"

"I know. Okay? I know. Just—here." He pulled me towards the window, and helped me down to sit on the ground. He plopped down next to me, resting his arms on his knees and letting his head rest against the enforced glass. He let me calm down, let me catch my breath, let my hide my face in my hands, all without comment. It was a few minutes before he spoke again, but when he did, it was in a mocking, macho voice that made me laugh into my hands. "So, Bellamy. What's the deal with that guy?"

"He's a family friend," I said sheepishly. "A…very overprotective family friend."

"Hm. You didn't tell me you had any overprotective family friends."

"Hm. You wanna guess why?"

He chuckled, wiping a hand down his face. "Listen, uh…I wanna apologize for before…"

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"…if I was making you uncomfortable then…"

"You weren't. Bellamy was wrong to say that."

"…if you didn't want me to kiss you it's…"

"Of course I wanted you to kiss me."

I snapped my mouth shut as he looked up, honestly seeming surprised. "Really?"

For the second time that night, my words abandoned me. My brain stayed neatly blank as I lowered my eyes to my lap. I was very much out of my realm of experience now.

But for the second time that night, Kehan's hand cupped my cheek. He turned my face towed him, and I had a minute to appreciate the contour of his face, his skin illuminated in the reflected light from Earth. Then he was pressing his lips against mine, and I was left with nothing to appreciate but the warm sensation of his mouth, and the starless space behind my eyelids.

It really wasn't a bad view.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! It was nice to get back into writing this. I sort of like having short chapters that I can crank out in a day or two.**

**First of all, please go back and reread PROLOGUE V if you get the chance. I've edited a bit of the conversation between Nylah and Benedict, and things will make a lot more sense in the future if you take a moment to glance through it.**

**Okay, back to the sap. Thank you so much for all of your support. We must remain strong in the year before The 100 returns. Luckily, that gives me plenty of time to work on this, haha. And thanks for the wonderful reviews I got from Aiphira, KalleBeth, CeliaSingsSongs, Individual Narrative, minstorai, FangirlFTW, LindySwan'97, RoseRedGurl, ChasingWolves, artificial-paradises, crossMIRAGE19, TSCxHG, thebluefeather, rachel101448, kay, the harrypottergeneration, LadyErised, Guest1, Guest2, needham19, JenRiley16, and LionHeartMisfit! Hope you enjoy!**

**-Brittney**


	8. Prologue VIII

I have always dreaded the first day of each month. Those days were my twelve least favorite of the year, and with a few exceptions, they had been as long as I could remember. They were a strict structure in my otherwise amorphous life, forcing me to face my worst fear every month of every year. Those days were my nightmares in reality.

"It's just the med bay. Relax, Nylah."

I didn't answer him. My lips pressed themselves into a thin line and I kept my eyes straight ahead of me. Even without looking at him, I could hear the tinge of exasperation.

"Ny, I said I was sorry."

"You did."

Bellamy lengthened his stride in annoyance. I took the few extra steps to match his pace, but didn't say anything else. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I just don't like him."

"You've made that very clear."

"He wasn't supposed to be there, and you know it. If your dad knew that you were inviting guys over when he was at work..."

"You're not my father, Bellamy. And it didn't give you the right to hit him."

"I didn't hit him!"

"You swung your fist at his face. Trust me, your intentions were very clear."

"Well when I walk into your place and find some guy practically crawling on top of you, I think I have the right to be a little worried. You didn't tell me he was gonna be there."

"I don't need to give you notice when I invite my boyfriend over for a study date."

"Right. That was a lot of intense studying, I'm sure."

"Bellamy, you've been hooking up with any number of girls since you were thirteen. Exclusively, non-exclusively, in private, and in public. You do not get to judge me for this."

"You know what, I never let it get in the way of my responsibilities! You and—our little fucked up family has always come first. I wasn't shoving my tongue down girls' throats when I was supposed to be getting you rations."

He was stumbling back before I'd even realized that I'd pushed him. I rounded on him with a snarl, but was cautious enough to swallow my words for just a few more seconds. I wouldn't talk about Octavia in public. Even an empty side corridor was too risky to mention her. But Bellamy's jab had been explicit enough.

"Don't you dare. Don't you ever suggest that my family haven't always been my first priority. I've hardly ever had a life outside of that, and I know that if it was up to you, it'd stay that way. I know you think you're protecting me, but you're not. I need to know that I can be my own person. I can take care of..._people_ and still have friends. So stop telling me that I can't."

Bellamy just blinked at me for a few seconds. It was probably the most I'd said to him at once since the Unity Day Masquerade. We hadn't talked for a few days, maybe even a week, too mad that the other one had embarrassed us. Eventually, we had to start acknowledging each other to keep Octavia sane. Bell and I were half of her world, and if we were fighting, it meant half her world was falling apart. We'd moved onto tense smiles and conversations about rations, but that had been about it. It'd been a few months. This was one of our first real conversations and honestly, besides the incident at the dance, it was probably one of the first times I'd ever really yelled at him.

I kept my chin held high as we faced off, until he finally unclenched his jaw and held up his hands. "I said I was sorry."

"But you're not," I snapped, forcing my arms to stay at my sides. "Putting 'sorry' in front of another stupid explanation of why you think you're right isn't an apology. You haven't apologized for the way you've treated Kehan. You haven't apologized for hurting me. All you've done is basically said 'sorry you don't like it.' A lot."

Bell crossed his arms in front of his chest. It would have looked aggressive to anyone who hadn't grown up in the same room. But I could see the fraction of an inch his shoulders rolled forward instead of pushing back, the way his hand wrapped around the side of his elbow instead of tucking inside. Tiny, infinitesimal signs of remorse, or at least discomfort. It was the only reason I wasn't pushing him again.

"Fine. You're right. I'm sorry, Nylah. I just..." He paused when I narrowed my eyes at him, the glare making his lips curl up a fraction. "I'm not used to _not_ having you around. It's weird, and I'll be the first to admit that I don't like it. But...you're right. You weren't going to sit in that room forever."

I took a shaky breath but nodded. Neither of us moved for a minute, until Bellamy awkwardly suggested we get moving again before I was late. I groaned, and he'd smirked and grabbed my shoulders, pushing me down the hallway in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go. It was a silent walk, but the air was clearer now. When we were on good terms, it was one of the things I liked about Bellamy. He never pushed me to talk.

The door to the medical bay loomed at the end of the hallway, a figure I recognized to be Jackson tapping his fingers along his clipboard and peering out the door. He grinned when he saw me, a sympathetic one that told me it hadn't escaped him that Bellamy was practically forcing me down the hall. "Hey, Nylah. Dr. Griffin's ready whenever you are. I'll let her know you're here."

I turned back to Bellamy after the doctor's assistant had returned to his post, wringing my hands in front of me. "Um...I know you don't usually walk me, but do you think...?"

"I'm not going anywhere. Just because I don't like your boyfriend doesn't mean I don't like you."

I smiled weakly, and he returned the gesture with a bit more power. I used it to encourage myself into the med bay, keeping my eyes on the ground and walking over to what was essentially my corner. I had a check up appointment with Dr. Griffin every month to keep an eye on my medical problems. Premature babies were a serious anomaly on the Ark, since the medical team was usually pretty good at catching any sort of symptoms or conditions that might lead to problems. But there was always an exception to the rule. My mom had been that exception, the symptoms of her preeclampsia getting overlooked in a hoard of other patients with similar but unrelated symptoms. When I was younger, I'd gotten the traditional talk from the staff—"done everything they could," "couldn't stop the bleeding," "wanted us to save you before we worried about her," and the like. I'd long since given up my anger at the doctors. I was lucky to be alive, even if it meant not having a mother and visiting the med bay every month, to be poked and prodded until the doctors could be sure my current treatments for everything that was wrong with me were still effective.

I walked until I could finally see the curtain bunched up at the head of the cot. I pulled it around with my eyes closed, and only looked up when I was sure that the rest of the room was sufficiently blocked from view. I'd learned quickly that the only way I could keep up my visits to the med bay was if I couldn't actually see the med bay. It all became too much if I could see the other cots, tools, and patients. So Dr. Griffin had compromised and given me a corner all my own, where I only had to look at walls.

She pulled the curtain back only a minute after I settled on the cot, a kind smile on her face. "Hi, Nylah. How are you feeling today?"

"Hi, Abby. I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm good. Better once we get you in and out, huh?"

I nodded with a sheepish smile, but Abby wasn't offended. She'd only been taking care of me for about fourteen years. She knew how uncomfortable I was, and never took it personally. Instead, she did her best to keep my mind off the harmless inspection by talking about her family. I heard a lot about her daughter Clarke, though I'd never met her. The Griffins frequented a very different part of the Ark, a place I would only ever experience through her stories. It was nice to get a glimpse into a normal family, one that had a mom and a dad and no illegally hidden siblings.

"Your pulse is a bit higher than it normally is," Abby said, casting me a stern look. "Anything you need to tell me?"

"No," I said quietly.

"Nylah, I know you don't like being down here, but if you're experiencing any symptoms of anything, you have to let me know. I can only help your immune system if you tell me what's wrong."

"I'm really okay. I promise. I was just arguing with a friend before I came. Guess I haven't really calmed down."

"_That_ I understand," she said with a knowing smile. "You teenagers are always so passionate. But I need you to keep breathing, or else this is going to get a lot more difficult, okay?" My throat tightened, and I felt my heart rate spike as she momentarily disappeared behind the curtain, calling out to Jackson for some supplies. "Now, your blood work from last month is showing your iron's getting pretty low, so I'm going to try and ween you off the calcium supplements."

"Okay. What does that mean?"

"Well, breathing's gonna be a lot easier, and hopefully you'll be less tired, but you might have to get used to that tiny stature of yours." She winked at me, but I couldn't summon the power to smile as I heard Jackson approaching the other side of the curtain. "I know you hate this part, but I need to keep an eye on your red blood cells. Do you want me to call your dad in?"

"Dad...Dad's actually not here..."

Abby was good at her job. I only saw a flicker of the concern over her face before her bedside manner kicked in and she gave me a bracing smile. "Okay then. Nylah, I want you to keep your eyes on the wall over here, and just talk to me. Tell me what you've been up to lately. This is gonna be very easy, I promise."

I took a shaky breath and looked at the wall across from me. But even looking away didn't completely stop the glint of the needle from catching my eye. Despite Abby's instructions, I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing instead of the scent of the sterilizing agent that was stinging my nose as she cleaned her instruments. My lungs decided objectively not to cooperate, inhaling and exhaling before it felt like any of the oxygen had gotten into my blood.

"Nylah? Nylah, listen to me. Just talk, okay? What were you doing before you came to see me today, hm? Were you with friends?"

Octavia's face swam behind my eyelids, and I had to bite my tongue to keep her name tied down. But I couldn't seem to think of anything else. I wasn't going to be able to talk about anything. I couldn't talk about Octavia without getting in trouble, getting Bellamy in trouble, his mom, my dad. If I said something I was sentencing us all to death, but I couldn't think of anything else. I was going to sit here with my mouth clamped shut to protect them, and my lungs were going to keep speeding up, and my head was going to keep pounding, and I was going to feel my skin crawl when Abby grabbed my wrist, and I'd try to stop breathing when I smelled the alcohol she was spreading on my skin, and then my chest would start to burn because I was trying to not breathe and hyperventilate at the same time, and then I'd have to sit there unable to think of anything but Octavia and the needle they were pushing into my skin and pulling back on the plunger and...

"Nylah! Hey, Lala, look at me."

I recognized the hands touching my face before the voice or the words processed in my head. I pried my eyes apart until I could see Bellamy's blurry outline in front of me. He came more into focus with every blink, and after a few seconds, I remembered how to breathe through my nose.

The world came back into motion, and I clutched at Bellamy's sleeves as he held onto me. I barely heard Dr. Griffin thank Jackson, who must have pulled Bellamy from the hall when things took a turn for the worse. Abby was trying to give me a stern look for trying to face the situation without help, but there was too much concern in her features to really manage it. "Nylah, I know how difficult this is for you. But unfortunately, if I don't get this blood work, we could miss some major signs in your bloodstream that might prevent your next illness. I'm going to need to try that one more time."

My face must have looked even more pitiful than it felt, because Bellamy forcibly turned me to look at him. "Hey, it's okay. Just stay with me, okay? What do you wanna talk about? I'm not going anywhere."

"I—I don't..."

"Tell me that poem you were reading the other day," he encouraged. "Shakespeare or something stupid like that."

"It was Dryden," I half-snapped. "And it's not stupid."

He grinned and ran his thumb over my cheek before grabbing my shoulders. "You know I always zone out with crap like that. What was the poem? Come on."

I took another breath, shaky but easier than it had been before. I hesitated, but the moment I heard Abby uncap her bottle of sterilizing fluid again, I rushed into reciting the poem.

"Feed a flame within, which so torments me  
That it both pains my heart, and yet contains me:  
'Tis such a pleasing smart, and I so love it,  
That I had rather die than once remove it.

Yet he, for whom I grieve, shall never know it;  
My tongue does not betray, nor my eyes show it.  
Not a sigh, nor a tear, my pain discloses,  
But they fall silently, like dew on roses.

Thus, to prevent my Love from being cruel,  
My heart's the sacrifice, as 'tis the fuel;  
And while I suffer this to give him quiet,  
My faith rewards my love, though he deny it.

On his eyes I will gaze, and there delight me;  
While I conceal my love no frown can fright me.  
To be more happy I dare not aspire,  
Nor can I fall more low, mounting no higher."

There was a moment of silence as Bell watched me, a small smile on his face. "God, you're such a nerd."

"I am not! It's a nice poem!"

"And very well done," Abby added. She barely concealed her laughter as she placed a bandage on my forearm. "Maybe I'll ask you to recite something for me next month, too. But for today you're done. Take it easy, and get some sleep. I'll call your father later this week with more information about the iron deficiency."

"Thank you, Dr. Griffin," I said quickly, scrambling off the cot and out of the room. I paused to punch Bellamy once we were in the hall, making him laugh as I stormed off. "I'm not a nerd. And I hate you."

"You're welcome."


End file.
